21.

"With many years ahead to fall in line / Why would wish that on me? / I never want to act my age / What's my age again? / What's my age again?"

These above lyrics are off of the song "What's My Age Again?" by Blink-182. The song is about a man in his early 20s unable to cope with the fact that he's growing up and the expectations society puts onto him because of it. He doesn't feel or act like he's older, but because he is he must conform to society's standards - or be socially ostracized. While this is not specifically my case - many even say that I act a little too old for my age, and I'll admit that I am not as adventurous and risk-taking as others in my age-bracket - but I think the song, or at least the line above, is relevant to how I'm feeling today, on my 21st birthday.

It's not the age that has me me worried, it's the unknown future that comes with the age, as what I do and the decisions I make in the next year or so will, supposedly, have a major impact in how the rest of my life shapes up. If I could, I would probably want to relive the past 3 undergraduate years over and over again. I can safely say that these have been the best times of my life. I have made some awesome friends, had some great experiences, have a wonderful girlfriend, I am old enough to appreciate some aspects of "mature" life (like certain intricacies of society, culture, academia, politics, etc.) but I am not yet too old where I have a profound and obligated stake in these aspects of life. This isn't the first time I've experienced these feelings, as it usually comes whenever you're nearing the end of something. Just as in high school entering into grade 12 and having to think about what schools to go to the next year and what you are going to take in those schools, I am now entering into my 4th (and graduating) year of university and I am once again faced with tough choices. This current situation is even harder than the grade 12 one as I knew I was going to a university, it was just a matter of which one and what to take. This time around I am not sure about anything. What do I do after four years being an undergraduate in university, emerging with a cookie-cutter political science degree? Even more higher education seems like the most likely option, as we all know that in today's society and job market, a simple degree only cuts it for the most base-level jobs (if any), especially for a social science degree as generic as a political science one.

The main crux of my confusion in what to do is found in how I feel like I lack a definitive vision or goal. Many people know what they want to do and they pursue it. I envy them. While I generally know what I like: politics, international affairs, journalism, etc., I am unsure how studying these things will result in a viable career option that I will enjoy. However, I plan to amend this confusion over my summer break and get organized and focused. I want to have a real answer to the question: "what do you want to do when you get older?". I have recently decided that law school is my best bet, given my current circumstances. A law degree is highly versatile, and is applicable to many fields and almost all organizations. I would love to get a degree in international or public administration law (or something similar) and work for an organization (governmental or not) intent on trying to make the world a better place. That would be cool. I plan to soon find out which organizations fit this mandate and how a law degree would assist my employment opportunities with them.

Next year seems to be shaping up to be the busiest one yet. I'll be working, taking a (mostly) full course load, writing my LSAT in October, applying to law schools (and possibly Graduate schools, I haven't completely ruled them out yet), while hopefully increasing my GPA (I want the 3.5), all the while trying to have a semblance of a social life. Next year will have to have a strict balance between all these things, and I will need to organize my time wisely and properly (something I have admittedly could have done better with in my 3rd year).

Despite all this, deciding that law school is the way to go has at least provided me with a foundation to focus my thoughts and efforts, and I am thankful for that. I also know that I am not alone in surveying what the unknown future could hold for me, and I am (again) thankful and appreciative for this support network found in my amazing friends and family.